Well, I got all of the laundry done, so that’s cool. I also took some friends to the airport at the taint of dawn, so I had to be up early anyway, whatever, some nights are better than others and that laundry needed to be done. It was haunting my dreams, literally.
Hmmm, it all makes sense now!
So I decided that I will take a siesta since it’s my work-from-home day. It’s my lunch hour, right? If I chose to spend it wedged between two purring cats, that’s my bidness.
Oh man, I totally hit it tonight, two minutes into a four minute interval. I was so pumped, so stoked, so in the zone. I was just going and then I got sla-hammed with a wave of nausea.
“Push through it, Cindy. You can’t sit down now. These ladies are depending on you. Breathe, focus, breathe …”
So I did, and then I shut my damn mouth during the entire recovery interval and prayed it would pass. It did. Then I smiled again and told everyone to get out of the saddle and we finished strong until the end.
The timing of my music was off but that’s okay, I think my attitude more than made up for it and I warned them that the song breaks were not the cues for this ride and I tried to be good about saying, “One minute in … two minutes in … thirty seconds to go.” After all, it’s unfair that I know how far we are into an interval and they don’t.
Good ride tonight. Fierce and sweaty and leg burning. I was so proud of my riders, they hung in there for the entire ride and it was a seriously brutal ride, even for me. That kind of dedication gor a round of applause from me followed with a, “You guys rocked that ride! Absolutely!” I think I also might have grunted and said, “My goodness,” on more than one occasion, which amused my veterans and solicited a response from me, “Well, I can’t say what I really want to say!”
Good times, I feel great right now, had a dinner of grilled Mahi Mahi tacos from Baja Fresh, and I’m off to watch a movie with Matt that brought tears to Matt’s eyes when he watched it last week: Perfect World.
Good night!
I’ve always felt this way. It’s the perfect cliche for me because I feel like everything in life happens in big stages:
Everyone goes to college
Everyone gets married
Everyone buys houses
Everyone has kids
Everyone sells their houses and buys new ones
And I’m just sort of blaaaaaaaaaaaaahing along, still figuring shit out. I’ve never had a problem with this but sometimes I wonder, “Am I missing out on something? Am I doing everything too late if I ever do it at all?”
Then I think, “I’m an smart, motivated, emotionally intelligent human being. It’s my damn life, and I’ll do with it as I please.”
So, I’m sitting here in my pasty white skin, non-descriptive clothing, glasses, unbrushed shoulder-length hair, with only my wedding rings for accessories, and a touch of chapstick and mascara and I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing with my life. What’s right for me. Fuck the world. As long as I’m living a decent, non-violent, honest life, I’m doing it right and when I go home tonight Matt will look at my face and say, “I love you” and give me a big kiss.
I’m not perfect, oh GOD I am SO FAR from perfect. I’m angry, I’m selfish, I’m impatient, I’m annoying, I’m repetitive, I’m vain, I’m unbearably frustrating at times, I’m indecisive and loud and brash and pushy and demanding, but I’m loved by a man who can see past all of that and loves me so much and hugs me so hard that it smooths out those sharp corners and sometimes that square peg seems to fit just right into that round hole without forceful shoving and pushing. I found someone who appreciates my squareness, or at least makes an attempt to understand it.
Anyone who owns a Subaru will tell you the same thing. it truly is a love affair. In fact, Matt and I love Subaru so much, we are planning to replace our Impreza Outback Sport (IOS) sometime this year. Yes, we are a two-Subaru family–some people have children, we have fun, yet functional, cars … and three cats.
Matt and I had a nice weekend with friends. I saw Alice in Wonderland, which was awesome. I taught a Spin class. We had dinner at a friend’s house and I got to make a birthday cake. I also enjoyed driving with the skyroof open in the Outback. Yes, Subaru calls it a skyroof because it is ENORMOUS! I mean, look at the size of this thing. Matt hates it, I love it.
This morning, I got out of bed at 7:00 instead of 6:30, mostly because Diesel was being a snugly, purring ball of a adorable for that half hour and I just couldn’t say no.
Alright, Matt is moseying on downstairs now so I’m going to to go make him some breakfast.
This pretty much captures my relationship Matt. Glad to know I’m not the only lucky one to land a great guy and to have found the experience transcending and rewarding.
It’s true how often we expect a relationship to be something exciting and thrilling for all of eternity. In doing that, we fail to miss the greater aspects of choosing a mate. My own marriage certainly isn’t roses but that’s okay because roses make me sneeze. I prefer wildflowers, daisies, if you will. Pulled straight from the ground with roots and dirt still clinging to them.
That, is how I define love.
I woke up at 4:00 a.m. with a broken heart because Matt cheated on me with a thin Kirstie Alley and acted like it was no big thing to have an affair.
So there I am, lying in bed, watching him sleep, and thinking, “I want to punch you in the nuts so hard right now.” Instead, I went back to sleep and when I got up this morning, I made sure to wake him up too and tell him this. He laughed and said, “That just proves how absurd it is. A thin Kirstie Alley? Thatpoor woman has struggle with eight all her life. Hmmm, did she look good though.”
Then he hid under the blankets and I smacked his butt as hard as I could while tossing out a few choice cuss words. I’ve said it before “marriage is bliss and it’s nothing but sunshine shooting out of our asses around here.”
So I got up and came downstairs. In 30 minutes I have sprayed Diesel with the water bottle no less than six times. Kitty is behaving badly, very hyper this morning. He’d driving me nuts but he’s so stinking cute, whatever.
I have a great day lined up. Gettin’ shit done at work, and thinking I might bail a couple of hours early so I can go to the grocery store in order to avoid errands this weekend because I get to go into it with a clear head and want to take advantage of the free time:
So, it’s shaping up to be a pretty good Friday. I need to go pack lunches and Make breakfast now.
So, I finished off the day with a fantastic dinner at my favorite restaurant, which included:
Lamb and barley stew
Duck fat fries with aioli
Beer biscuits with fresh, not-refrigerated-solid, unsalted butter
Southern Tier Choklat
YUM. Oh man, it was the perfect end to an already fantastic day and tomorrow poses to be even better because I will finally be rid of this project and can go into my weekend excited for plans like RUNNING OMGITSWARMENOUGH and then start fresh with new development on Monday.
I have my stride back. I feel like me again. Spring is springing! I can feel it! The days are getting longer! I’m getting happier! So yeah, good day, world. Good day. Ima go snuggle with my cats and watch “George of the Jungle,” which is a horrible movie but Brendan Frazier in that loin cloth? Um pardon me while I go furiously masturbate for a few minutes …
… Matt is loading music into his new iPod Touch (he’s very excited about this and just came across the song “Flame Thrower” by J. Geils Band and is dancing around the room like Sam Weir in Freaks and Geeks when Sam gets the leisure suit) so sex with him is out of the question right about now. Man is on a mission, and perhaps a leeeetle bit drunk.
I FUCKING LOVE HIM! Good night!
This morning, I had an awesome Spin class and I owe it all to my lovely riders who stuck with me and even sang along to one of the songs! We mixed it up a bit, focused on breathing and encouraged each other to stay loose. We took a couple of seated stretch/deep breath breaks, had a good time, lots of laughs, and smiles all around. I love when people get serious and I love when they have a good time while doing it. My 6:00 a.m. girls are the best.
Then, I showered, and headed to the endodontist for a root canal and I will describe the procedure as “pleasant compared to having a cavity filled.” I’m not lying! I mean, I’m not all like, “Boy, them’s was good times” but I am glad that the sensitivity and pain in tooth #15 is GONE. The endodontist was awesome and thorough. He kept me posted on what he was doing and at one point said, “Hmm, three roots in this one and of course it’s your very back molar. Here I thought I was going to have an easy morning and you come along with your freak tooth.” Then he patted me on the shoulder and said, “Thanks.”
I love a snarky doctor so it was hard not to laugh when my mouth was held open with a springy, latex contraption, but I did my best to OPEN WIDE and be cooperative. An hour later, I was given three Advil and told to have a nice day. Done. A little swelling and discomfort but it’s manageable.
So, I headed to work and when I arrived I found a “Thank You” note on my desk from my boss, which was really appreciated. And? And? AND?! JOY OH JOY!!! The IT department fixed our network issues and I. Was. Able. To. Publish. We had a bad module in the switch in the first floor server room. Replaced. Done. Happy. Proofing. PDFing. Posting. Kissing goodbye and focusing on new development come Monday.
THEN, just before lunch, I got a Twitter update from my favorite local pub that tonight’s soup special is lamb and barley stew (droooooooooool yum). I went straight to Open Table and made a reservation for dinner. Not taking any chances at that place, it gets packed! Either way, I’m having stew, duck fat fries, and a lovely beer for dinner tonight. Then going home to NOT WASH DISHES (hooray!) and curl up in bed with my bugs. It’s been a long and fruitful day thus far and I think an evening of lounging in bed with a cat on my chest and a husband by my side is warranted.
It’s Wednesday! That means it’s my work-from home day! Hooray! Man, by the end of the day on Tuesday I am so desperate for the peace and quiet of my house. I’m also desperate for sunlight and a monitor that doesn’t giggle and vibrate every time someone walks past my cube.
Seriously, who invented the cube? It’s dark, grey, miserable, and doesn’t do much to keep out noise or people’s noses out of your business. There’s nothing even remotely semi-private about it. I don’t like noise, I don’t like dark space, and I really don’t like vibrating floors.
No matter, I’m home today with the cats and a remote connection and I still got up at 6:30. Why? Lord only knows. It’s not like I need to get dressed and do a whole bunch of stuff before heading into the office.
Just having some ME time. I like ME time.
This morning, I threw a ball across the room for Diesel. He promptly batted it under the couch and reached his paw under to retrieve it, failed, and laid on the carpet looking very sad.
Matt walked over, lifted up the couch, and I swatted the ball across the room and said, “I remember when Diesel stole a piece of bacon off the counter and slipped underneath this couch to eat it. I was amazed because it’s a two-inch clearance and he just went right under there and all I heard was crunch, crunch, crunch.”
Then Diesel came flying back across the room and swatted the ball under the hope chest we use as a coffee table, banged his head trying to go after it, and then looked up at us. Matt said, “He was able to get under there just last week.”
“Yeah, and a month ago he was taking naps in a SoniCare toothbrush box.” We both stood there for a moment, looking at him when kitty let out a disgusted meow and Matt reached under the chest, swatted the ball into the kitchen and we both laughed as we watched legs go skittering across the floor as Diesel threw his tail around in circles trying to maintain some sense of control before he crashed into the wall.
