Unrelated Side Note

We got married on a dare.

I’m not kidding. Well, I sort of am. Here’s the story.

Matt and I had been not-dating for about a week. We’d hung out a couple of times but just as friends. On a Wednesday night, we went down to 9:30 Club in D.C. to see Mike Doughty, and I spent the entire night hanging out with his friend, Jeremy.

We dropped Jeremy off at his house and as he was leaving he said, “Nice to meet you, Cindy. Maybe we’ll see you again, maybe not. What’s the record, Matt? One month?”

And then Jeremy laughed and ran to his apartment.

Matt blithered, “I can explain.”

“You don’t have to. I have the same track record.”

GAME. ON.

A little more than two years later, we were hanging out at my friend Trish’s farm, talking about having a roommate, getting more serious in our relationship. I don’t remember the entire conversation but when the topic of marriage came up and Matt was all like, “Marriage is for chumps,” Trish was all like, “Grow a pair.”

Two weeks later, we were back at her house. Matt and I were alone, and I was washing dishes when he blurted out, “Yeah, I could marry you.”

“Wait, what? What does that mean, you could marry me?”

“It means I could marry you.”

“Are you asking me to marry you while I’m elbow deep in dishwater washing a plastic Spiderman plate?”

“Yes.”

And so, we got married.

When I was in Germany last year, I fiddled with and looked at at my wedding rings often and they reminded me that no matter where I go in this world, someone is waiting for me at home as long as we both shall live.

Those are some serious words, people, and I take them seriously.

Also, there’s something about these rings that simply delight people, both men and women. When I’m out and about, I often receive compliments on my rings, partly for their beauty, partly for their simplicity. These compliments makes me feel as though in those few moments the light that shimmers and glows on my finger has entered their own hearts. Like the love Matt and I share is truly is bigger than both of us. We gotta spread it around some!

I never thought I would love inanimate objects as much as I love my wedding rings but I know that I am wearing something more precious than metal and stone on my finger. I’m wearing a piece of me, of who I am.

On my wedding day, my friend Lisa took a beautiful photo that I just have to share.

• The gold rings are my mother’s wedding rings and diamond anniversary band.
• The ring with the purple stone was my grandmother’s, and was the original setting for my diamond that we could not restore well enough to hold a precious stone so I had it reset with an amethyst and gave it to my mother for Mother’s Day. There was a lot of crying that day.
• The single engagement ring is mine, about two hours before Matt presented me with my grandmother’s 1mm plain, platinum band that we were thankfully able to restore. It is exactly what I wanted. Simple and perfect and really lets the beauty of the engagement ring stand on its own.

Thanks, Lisa, for capturing this beautiful moment. The entire set is wonderful. I think I shed a few tears looking at the ceremony pictures.

To sum up my marriage with a few simple photos taken at a friend’s wedding in May and one taken at a picnic this very Saturday. It’s good to be in love and, hey, look who learned how to upload pictures to her website after SIX YEARS!

When I was planning my wedding, I read a lot of blogs to help keep me sane. Anyone who has planned a wedding knows it’s hard work. Well, shortly after I got married, I made a comment on one of my favorite blogs about how I loved being a wife. That comment sent people into a tizzy, and I’ve stayed in touch here and there with the blog owner, posting a comment from time to time, as I really enjoy the perspective and banter that takes place on her blog. Plus, I love looking at all of those lovely weddings!

So, I wrote her an email last week about how I still love being a wife, and she featured it today! How freaking awesome is that? I’ve been following along in the comments and am totally surprised to see how many other women are in support of my and Matt’s idea of marriage.

I marvel in Meg’s fearlessness to post anything about marriage on her website. It’s not easy to put one’s self out there in a world full of cynics. Keep it up, Meg. Even if you aren’t into weddings, her blog is a really good read on marriage, society, etc. Check it out, and thanks to Meg for featuring me.

Our wedding anniversary has come and gone and just this morning I thought to myself, “You know, I would do it all over again. It was so much damn fun!”

We had hamburgers for dinner the night of our actual anniversary, but we’re celebrating on Thursday by going out to dinner at the restaurant where we held our reception. A couple of friends surprised us with a gift certificate as a “We know it’s late but we didn’t want you to use it until your anniversary” wedding present. How clever and thoughtful! I love it.

We had such a good time at our wedding, so much that I’m going to link to a couple of wedding albums:

Lisa’s shots, which contain so many wonderful candid moments. Including this one, which is of me, my oldest friend, and her girlfriend cracking up over the two of them just having seen my aunt’s bare ass in the bathroom. You have to know my aunt, long story. Anyway, I heart Lisa. You should look at all of her pictures because they are awesome, just like she is.

Professional shots, posted on my Flickr page. Our photographer was awesome. We loved working with him and he did such a beautiful job. He worked freelance, pictures only, so we saved a lot of money without sacrificing quality of work. Lucky us!

People often ask the question, “Why did you marry [insert name here]?” I will sum up my decision to marry Matt in one sentence: We’re in bed futzing around on our lap tops, out of nowhere I start humming the melody to a song, he kicks in by playing the drum track on his belly, we look at each other and sing, “Detachable Penis” in unison, and then go right back to what were doing without skipping a beat.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is why I married the man. He fucking gets me.

So, I told you guys the story about Matt giving me the ring. It was sweet, sappy, I cried, it was totally romantic and dumb. Well, I never told you the real story, which happened like this, three months before he gave me the ring.

We were at my friends’ house, out on the farm. They were going through major home renovations, which meant they had no kitchen save a mini fridge and tiny sink in the bar downstairs.

Matt and I had been out looking at houses earlier that day after only a few days prior had a rather huge argument about marriage.

So, those details out there, I was hovering over the tiny sink, washing dishes, when Matt says to me, “I could marry you.”

I paused, and said, “You could marry me?”

“Yeah, I could. Actually, I want to.”

“Matt, are you asking me to marry you in my friend’s basement when I’m up to wrists in dish water?”

“Yes. I want to get you a ring though. A real ring.”

“Oh, well, I don’t know that I want a ring. Unless it’s my grandmother’s. Is that okay? We can ask my parents tomorrow.”

“Sure.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

And I went back to scrubbing dishes and Matt went outside to hang by the pool. I went upstairs, back outside, walked straight up to my friend, and said, “Matt and I are getting married.”

“Wait, what? When did you decide this?”

“Like three minutes ago.”

“In the basement?”

“Yes.”

“Congratulations,” and she kissed me on the cheek.

“Thanks. He said he wants to give me a ring so I’m not really supposed to plan anything or talk about it but I’m a little floored right now. I had to tell someone.”

“I didn’t want one either but he wanted me to have one, so he gave me one. I don’t wear my rings at all now. It doesn’t matter though. How exciting!”

So, folks, that’s the real story. I suppose my dishpan hands were just irresistible. Or perhaps the image of me scrubbing dried ketchup of a Spiderman plate was just that inspiring. Either way, I’m a lucky girl.