Unrelated Side Note

I’ve always felt this way. It’s the perfect cliche for me because I feel like everything in life happens in big stages:

Everyone goes to college
Everyone gets married
Everyone buys houses
Everyone has kids
Everyone sells their houses and buys new ones

And I’m just sort of blaaaaaaaaaaaaahing along, still figuring shit out. I’ve never had a problem with this but sometimes I wonder, “Am I missing out on something? Am I doing everything too late if I ever do it at all?”

Then I think, “I’m a smart, motivated, emotionally intelligent human being. It’s my damn life, and I’ll do with it as I please.”

So, I’m sitting here in my pasty white skin, non-descriptive clothing, glasses, unbrushed shoulder-length hair, with only my wedding rings for accessories, and a touch of chapstick and mascara and I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing with my life. What’s right for me. Fuck the world. As long as I’m living a decent, non-violent, honest life, I’m doing it right and when I go home tonight Matt will look at my face and say, “I love you” and give me a big kiss.

I’m not perfect, oh GOD I am SO FAR from perfect. I’m angry, I’m selfish, I’m impatient, I’m annoying, I’m repetitive, I’m vain, I’m unbearably frustrating at times, I’m indecisive and loud and brash and pushy and demanding, but I’m loved by a man who can see past all of that and loves me so much and hugs me so hard that it smooths out those sharp corners and sometimes that square peg seems to fit just right into that round hole without forceful shoving and pushing. I found someone who appreciates my squareness, or at least makes an attempt to understand it.

This entry was posted on Monday, March 8th, 2010 at 2:53 pm and is filed under Love and Some Verses. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.