I used to refer to that when I thought about marrying Matt. I guess my vision of our life wasn’t the same as his. You know, buy a house, build a future, grow old together … Sigh, man, how different life is years later. How our perceptions change. How PEOPLE change. Ugh. It just sucks.
I came to the difficult realization last night that I’m not going to be able to afford to move out on my own any time soon. All of the overages of my life used to be covered by the business. Things like insurance and cell phones and gas and car repairs … Now, I find myself with a $700/month deficit (if I move out on my own) and no idea how to pay it. I guess I just keep plugging along, working at my promotion and earning the right to more management shifts as I prove myself. I love where I am and what I do. I’m trying, I really am.
I guess I just have to live through these times and I cried when I told my housemate, “I need more time. Can you give me more time? I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry.” Because I am sorry. Sorry about all of this.